oy vey

Got into my first bar and I have the hangover to prove it, work today is going to be fuuuun.

Can you smell what baROCK is cookin'?

I am making so much positive progress lately, high five!

Really solid weekend. Just gotta get through four days of work, three midterms and two downtown commutes, then spring break! Wrestler Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson hosted SNL this week and did a really funny sketch where he played the alter Hulk-esque ego of Barack Obama. 

My hunt for an irie swimsuit continues as does my passion for Dawson's Creek. My sister wants me to start a Food Not Bombs chapter with her..we'll see what happens with that. Daylight Savings really freaks me out (you know you know you know it really freaks me out!) and all the themes I came up with for the 40th anniversary party are lame as hell especially considering the venue where it's held is an art museum which will have a "Journey Through Hell" exhibit during September which is when the party is so I thought it'd be funny to have a "Life begins at forty" theme where we set up a lot of lush plants but turns out '40' is also the 'Ruby Wedding Anniversary' so it'd be pretty easy to get a bunch of red things AND the 'ruby' theme would match really well with the Hell art, AH!

xoxo

J

Girl power.

"I made myself to be the guy you first presumed me to be which isn't what I wanted. I guess it was the alcohol for you but I took it seriously."

"We made out, ok? We weren't together."

"Put me back in your phone, at least for now."

"Why? I'm not going to call you."

"Why not? You can always call me if you need help."

"I'm a big girl, I don't need help, but thanks."

I really don't get why he's so effing weird. Playas gon' play! He knows that, I  know that, we're all dudes, hey! So I don't understand why everytime I run into him he's like, "Justine, I'm sorry for doing dumb things, you're such a good girl." And I'll just be like "Oh, haha, yeah, it's cool! OKAY LET'S GO PLAY BEER PONG, someone? ANYone?!" As for the above mentioned conversation, I can't believe I handled that so well, I mean I can't believe I wasn't like, "Oh, no Ariel was kidding I still have your number....Or...I got a new phone sorry what was your number again?" But I'm glad I didn't I dunno, it's the principle of the thing, really. I tend to fold in awkward situations.

Ariel came down I guess her break's already started. Went out to Kevin's and almost won pong but no such luck. I am getting better, I swear! Took Matt on a beer run but all the stores were closed so it turned into more of a bonding sesh than liquor run. Kevin's roommate has an entire cabinet full of guns, like, real guns. He showed them to us and was just like "I grew up in the country, it's legit!" and started pulling them out to show me and Ariel which caused us to scream and be liike, "OK COOL PUT THEM AWAY!" Luckily, his demeanor is usually really jolly so hopefully there won't be any drunk rampages, either way it kind of freaked me out. Fists not firearms! Was pretty satisfied with the CB situation (quoted above..) one more week until spring break just have to get through my Anthro midterm, Bio Lab practicum, and two more days of listening to the really opinionated girl in Philosophy spewing out more gems like, "When I was eleven I read The Republic and decided it was flawed because A. B. and C. so I got this tattoo that represents why I am correct and you and Plato are wrong!" which will just trigger some sort of bitchy reaction in me where I turn to Cassie and roll my eyes, I am trying not to though, I am trying to embrace the ideas of others and accept other people's beliefs and that I don't have to agree with them but shit, seriously? Stop talking. 

I have the journal and have had it for well over two weeks, sorry. Carrie will be here in a little over a week so I'm just going to give it to her then, ack!

I'm rereading old books we read in high school to see if I find more depth in them now (or something equally pretentious) and I'm on The Catcher in the Rye...When we read it sophomore year I loved it, now I can hardly get through one page without feeling like, "Holden, stop being a bitch! Suck it up!" Don't get me wrong, it's still pretty wonderful, however I find Holden's character much more insufferable now. This is kind of like the time I saw The Wall and called Pink a bitch and everyone was like "Whaaaaaaaa how can you SAY that?"

Gina I'm so excited for spring break and working with you, I got my own section last night, woo! I am also VERY excited for St. Patrick's day except for this year I won't be eating corn beef which is a little absurd but whatevz, strengthening my will power!

xoxo

J

meowmeowmeow!!

Stop it, Justine.

Usually I over-think things to the point of making mistakes. It's weird playing the "do-over" game in your head where you can pick at choices you've made. Every day I think that I am changing, growing. I'm not. The proof lies in the fact that I continue to be foolish with my heart and reckless with my body.

Intimacy can be very dangerous.

xo
J

You fucked the suburbs out of me

I can't help feeling paranoid. Everything is working out for me lately and I am known to be the most unlucky Irish girl in existence. I dunno, maybe it's just my perspective that's changed. Glass half full, riiiiiight? School: good. Job: good. Friends: good. Romance: good. Family: good.

This post is an attempt to divert my attention from this bogus paper assignment. This weekend was delicious per usual but my body is kind of angry that the drinking to exercise ratio is not in its proper balance. 

You know when you're a little kid you don't like a lot of things? Well, I mean, I guess I've never been too picky about stuff like how little kids can be. But there are still things that just don't interest you. I didn't care for fish or movies with dark haired men typically because they seemed dull. Now all I can do is consume things like fish, mushrooms and lots of caffeinated substances and be enthralled by dopey movies like Vegas Vacation (which has been on the big TV all day ohmygod and I have seen it so many times because each time my mom will say 'this is not Las Vegas it is hot there you kids would have down syndrome if we raised you there' which doesn't make sense on so many different levels but she makes me watch it with her everytime).

I feel weird about a lot of things. Like, transitioning. I'm comfortable where I am but I can see how things will be shaping out the next few months and time really freaks me out. I'm bad with deadlines, dates and aging. I don't like change but I hate repetition. I don't know! I don't know! I don't know! Gina what I am trying to say is I hate how things are uncertain, and I can't stand how things change daily, and quickly. I wish I was still sixteen because that was the best and working at LCG makes me want it even more because there's a huge flock of girls that are like really into gossip and school dances and I wish I could be but now I'm boring and just freak out about stupid things like car payments and getting downtown on time and wearing clothes that are "professional" enough and not failing out of community college, que lastima!

I want to take the money in my account and send myself to Ireland/Spain and move upstairs over a pub and work there during the day then stumble around the streets at night and do other fanciful things equated with Europe that I daydream about and generalize until they sound plausible enough. Soon, hopefully. I suppose the problem is I am overwhelmed and unimpressed with my surroundings lately but I've never been so busy. Therefore, I should really get on that Anthro paper while I have time now to do it. 

I sound ridiculous. I am eighteen and things are working out so well, I just get nostalgic sometimes and end up being sappy/silly/confused!

to-do today:

1. Anthro paper gogogo! 2. Play catch up with Bio reading! 3. Submit to the posting for dance class! 4. Work out! 5. Go see jazz concert! 6. Hydrate and feel less hungover! 7.Buy tickets to see Cursive perhaps! 8. Call Wes and tell him if he schedules me for Thursdays anymore I will have to fight him, street rules only! 9. Convince myself that going to Tijauana with the navy bros is really a good idea and not that scary at all, yeah..

Last night I held a ten minute conversation with a dog in Spanish.  I am really starting to like animals, maybe I am becoming less of a bitch, but most likely not. Adios Amigo.